What Clinton is probably thinking, 'I have fooled my democratic senators and now the American people, which includes you! I have proven you can lie, cheat, and have absolutely no integrity and still be PRESIDENT!'
"When we got organized as a country and we wrote a fairly radical Constitution
with a radical Bill of Rights, giving a radical amount of individual freedom
to Americans, it was assumed that the Americans who had that freedom would use
it responsibly... However, now there's a lot of irresponsibility. And so a
lot of people say there's too much freedom. When personal freedom's being
abused, you have to move to limit it."
President Bill Clinton on MTV on Patriots Day,1994
(the day that recognizes the battle of Lexington, when colonists fought
the British over efforts to confiscate powder and ball ... gun control)
DR LAURA SCHLESSINGER, RADIO TALK SHOW HOST In keeping with the theme of my well known books, the 10 stupid things men and women do to mess up their lives, here are the 10 stupid things the President and his defenders are teaching our children.
Number one, commitment to your spouse, your children, your constituents and the people is not sacred.
Number two, infidelity is not serious, it’s just sex.
Number three, it’s OK to lie, everybody does.
Number four, all presidents have extramarital sex and lie about it.
Number five, personal morality has nothing to do with one’s fitness to lead.
Number six, your character is less important than how well some think you do your job.
Number seven, you are immune from laws and judgment as long as you are making money.
Number eight, leadership does not impose the obligation to model exemplary behavior.
Number nine, betrayal of your loved ones and betrayal of your word to others does not deserve serious punishment.
Number ten, judging another person’s bad actions as bad is bad. And, for bonus points, there is no such thing as absolute truth or right and wrong. It all depends.
From ABC Network show "Nightline," January 1999
NAME THAT COUNTRY:
-709,000 regular (active duty) service personnel;
-293,000 reserve troops;
-Eight standing army divisions;
-20 air force and navy air wings with 2,000 combat aircraft;
-232 strategic bombers;
-13 strategic ballistic missile submarines with 3,114 nuclear warheads
on 232 missiles;
-500 ICBMs with 1,950 warheads;
-Four aircraft carriers, and;
-121 surface combat ships and submarines, plus all the support
bases,shipyards and logistical assets needed to sustain such a naval
force.
Is this country Russia? No
Red China? No
Great Britain ? Wrong Again
USA? Hardly
Give Up? Well, don't feel too bad if you are unable to identify this
global superpower because this country no longer exists. It has
vanished. These are the American military forces that have disappeared since
the 1992 election. Sleep well, America.
The Presidential Questionnaire
As your President, I am very concerned about your opinion. I want to know your concerns and thoughts. So, here is your chance to honestly tell me what you think about my performance as President. Now, remember that I want your HONEST answer!
David Brinkley made these true comments on the 1996 election night about Bill Clinton:
"I wish to say that we all look forward with great pleasure to four more years of wonderful, inspiring speeches, full of wit and poetry, music and love and affection. And more g-- d--- nonsense. (Laughs) Of all the things I admire almost, near the top is creativeness, and everyone in this group ("This Week," the Sunday morning ABC news show, i.e. Cookie Roberts, Sam Donaldson, and George Will) has it. It shows in your work, it shows in your thinking, it shows in your speech, what you do, what you write, and what you say. And that is why this group is so terrific. Bill Clinton has none of it, not a creative bone in his body. Therefore he is a bore, and will always be a bore."
.... the statement made by Representative Dick Armey, who, when
asked if he were in the President's place, would he resign, responded:
"If I were in the President's place, I would not get a chance to resign.
I would be lying in a pool of my own blood hearing Mrs. Armey, standing
over me, saying, "How do I reload this damn thing?"
Bill and Hillary went to the first baseball game of the year in Baltimore's
new Camden Yards stadium. The umpire went to the Presidential box seat next to
the home dugout, whispered something to Bill, then walked back to home plate.
Bill shrugged his shoulders, and then threw Hillary onto the playing field. The
umpire shook his head, walked back to where Bill was sitting and said, "No, sir,
I asked you to throw out the first PITCH."
Presidents Ford, Reagan, Carter, Nixon and Clinton were on a ship that
hit an ice berg. Ford screamed, "what should we do? Reagan said, "man the
lifeboats" Carter said, "women and children first", Nixon said, "screw the women
and children", Clinton said, "do you think we have time?"
Angel
at the Gate
It was getting a little crowded in Heaven, so God decided
to change the admittance policy. The new law was that, in order to get into
Heaven, you had to have a really bummer day on the day that you died. The policy
would go into effect at noon the next day. So, the next day at 12:01, the first
person came to the gates of Heaven. The Angel at the gate, remembering
the new policy, promptly asked the man, "Before I let you in, I need you to tell
me how your day was going when you died." "No problem," the man said. I came
home to my 25th floor apartment on my lunch hour and caught my wife having an
affair. But her lover was nowhere in sight. I immediately began searching for
him. My wife was half naked and yelling at me as I searched the entire
apartment. Just as I was about to give up, I happened to glance out onto the
balcony and noticed that there was a man hanging off the edge by his fingertips!
The nerve of that guy! Well, I ran out onto the balcony and stomped on his
fingers until he fell to the ground. But wouldn't you know it, he landed in some
trees and bushes that broke his fall and he didn't die. This ticked me off even
more. In a rage, I went back inside to get the first thing I could get my hands
on to throw at him. Oddly enough, the first thing I thought of was the
refrigerator. I unplugged it, pushed it out onto the balcony, and tipped it over
the side. It plummeted 25 stories and crushed him! The excitement of the moment
was so great that I had a heart attack and died almost instantly." The
Angel sat back and thought a moment. Technically, the guy did have a bad day. It
was a crime of passion. So, the Angel announces, "OK sir. Welcome to the Kingdom
of Heaven," and let him in. A few seconds later the next guy came up. To the
Angel's surprise, was Vernon Jordan. "Mr. Jordan, before I can let you in, I
need to hear about what your day was like when you died." Jordan said,
"No problem. But you're not going to believe this. I was on the balcony of my
26th floor apartment doing my daily exercises. I had been under a lot of
pressure so I was really pushing hard to relieve my stress. I guess got a little
carried away, slipped, and accidentally fell over the side! Luckily, I was able
to catch myself by the fingertips on the balcony below mine. But all of a sudden
this crazy man comes running out of his apartment, starts cussing, and stomps on
my fingers. Well, of course I fell. I hit some trees and bushes at the bottom,
which broke my fall, so I didn't die right away. As I'm laying there face up on
the ground, unable to move and in excruciating pain, I see this guy push his
refrigerator of all things off the balcony. It falls the 25 floors and lands on
top of me killing me instantly." The Angel is quietly laughing to himself
as Jordan finishes his story. "I could get used to this new policy," he thinks
to himself. "Very well," the Angel announces. "Welcome to the Kingdom of
Heaven," and he lets Vernon enter. A few seconds later, President Clinton
comes up to the gate. The Angel is almost too shocked to speak. Thoughts of
assassination and war pour through the Angel's head. Finally he says "Mr.
President, please tell me what it was like the day you died."
Clinton says, "OK, picture this. I'm naked inside a refrigerator..."
THE TRAGIC
COMEDIE OF KING LEER
Author Unknown Scene 1. A forest
glen.
Enter Witch Tripp and Kenneth of Starr. Double,
double, Webster Hubbell, I think I got the Creep in trouble. Eye of Newt,
strap of bra, Could it be he broke some law? Praise this broth utmost
ephemeral, Heavens! I left out my Essence of Emeril! Hark! Who trespasses
so near?
Kenneth of Starr: 'Tis I, the Inquisitor. What
news?
Witch Tripp: Things proceed with quickening speed, m'lord. The
maiden Lewinsky, so deeply embroil'd, is now join'd by the Lady Willey in like
pursuit. Daily tightens the noose around the king.
Starr: Would that it
were so, but he hath good counsel, and more moves than a chess board. His
public, well pleas'd with good news of the economie, doth o'erlook
much.
Witch Tripp: How may I serve you next?
Starr: I have need of
acts damnable and facts verifiable. Else he may elude me yet.
Witch
Tripp: His dog Buddy, freshly neuter'd, may bear his master harsh reproach. He
may consent to wearing a collar of our invention, to survey the king at his
ease. Dogs are much accustom'd to insects. What's one more bug?
Starr:
Good hag, I rely on you completely. I must away.
(Exeunt Tripp and
Starr)
Scene 2. The king's antechamber
Duke of McCurry: My Lord! I
needs must speak with you most urgently! The castle is assaulted on all
sides!
Leer: What would I not give for an hour's peace!
McCurry:
An army of reporters is settled at thy gate. They are press in name and press in
deed, for they press me daily, nay, hourly for some explanation from thy
lips.
Leer: Who is there among them?
McCurry: Lords Jennings,
Brokaw, Rather, Geraldo of Rivera and a host of others. Methinks I spied the van
from Hard Copy.
Leer: You cut me to the quick. Do they not know that I am
chaste?
McCurry: They insinuate that thou hast chased too
often.
Leer: Never have lies been so artfully stack'd against a pure
soul. Where is Lady Hillary?
McCurry: Her secretary doth report that
she is lock'd in her bath, saying over and over, "Why can I not wash my hands of
this guy?"
Leer: Oh cursed fate! I must be the most solitary mortal in
all creation. Never have I betrayed m'lady's trust.
McCurry:
Whatever.
(Enter Messenger)
Messenger: Good king, steel thy nerve.
I bring a missive from Kenneth of Starr, the Grand Inquisitor.
Leer: Was
ever a man as Starr-cross'd as I? Why does this man conspire to afflict me thus?
My hand is unsteady. Read it to me.
Messenger: Let me see. He offers you
his regards, blah, blah, blah, then doth subpoena you to appear at his chamber
at Friday next, to forswear again that thou tookst no liberties with the Jones
wench, who withdraweth not her claims against you.
Leer: I have already
so sworn!
McCurry: It would seem, m'lord, that the woeful tale of Lady
Willey rekindles old flames.
Leer: I kiss'd the woman on the forehead, as
a sign of my regard. Never was a king so expos'd!
McCurry: Truer words
were ne'er spoken.
Leer: I cannot think on't further. Leave me to my own
counsel.
(Exeunt Messenger and McCurry)
Leer: To be forthright, or
not to be forthright, that is the question. Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to
suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, or just bag the whole thing
and teach law at a junior college.
(Enter Courtier)
Courtier: My
liege, you are late for an appointed meeting.
Leer: What's
this?
Courtier: You were to interview a new assistant at the stroke of
two. She seems most capable, and with rare intellect for one so young and
fair.
Leer: Well, tell her I will see her anon, and on, and
on.
Courtier: A most clever jest, my king.
Leer: Let us not tarry
further.
(Exeunt Leer and courtier. Enter Buddy, from behind a
chair)
Buddy: So dearest reader, I bid adieu. Me seeth I have much to
do. And so it comes to this pretty pass To see if the king doth get some
....
